Domestic abuse: Advice for Family and Friends

What is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse can be defined as any threatening behaviour, violence or abuse - emotional, psychological, physical, sexual or financial.

This is regardless of gender, age, race or sexuality, and includes forced marriages and so-called honour-based violence.

Between April 2010 and December 2010, 4092 women and 867 men reported being a victim of domestic abuse in Cheshire.

Do you know someone who may be a victim of Domestic Abuse?

It is important for people to recognise what abuse is - whether that be emotional, psychological, physical, sexual or financial.

Ask yourself the following questions

Take the time to find out if things you have noticed about a friend, relative, work colleague or neighbour could be a sign that they are suffering from domestic abuse.

They could be in an emotionally abusive relationship if their partner:

  • Calls them names, insults them or continually criticises them.
  • Doesn't trust them and continually acts in a jealous or possessive manner.
  • Tries to isolate them from family or friends.
  • Monitors where they go, who they call and who they spend time with.
  • Does not want them to work.
  • Controls finances or refuses to share money.
  • Punishes them by withholding affection.
  • Expects them to ask permission.
  • Threatens to hurt them, their children, family or pets.
  • Humiliates them in any way.

They could be in a physically abusive relationship if their partner has ever:

  • Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc).
  • Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked them.
  • Abandoned them in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
  • Scared them by driving recklessly.
  • Used a weapon to threaten or hurt them.
  • Forced them to leave their home.
  • Trapped them in their home or kept them from leaving.
  • Prevented them from calling the police or seeking medical attention.
  • Hurt their children.
  • Used physical force in sexual situations

What can you do to help?

If you are concerned that someone close to you is suffering from domestic abuse it might be difficult to know what to do for the best.

There are things you can do to help them:

  • Make sure that they are safe.
  • Be understanding and supportive.
  • Allow them time to talk - do not push them into giving too much detail if they do not feel comfortable doing that.
  • Do not criticise the abuser as it could put the person off telling you any more.
  • Ask if they have been physically abused - offer to go with them to the hospital if they need medical attention.
  • If they want to an incident to the police - then help them to do this.
  • Look at all the options that are available together.
  • Go with them to visit a solicitor if they are ready to take this step.
  • Help them work out safe plans for leaving the relationship.
  • Let them decide what is safe and what is not. Do not encourage them to follow any plans they are not sure about.
  • Do not put yourself in a dangerous position.

How to report Domestic Abuse

If an incident is happening now or someone has been injured or in danger

Call 999

If you are concerned about someone

If you are worried that someone close to you is experiencing domestic abuse please contact Cheshire Police on 0845 458 0000.

The National 24-hour domestic abuse helpline can be contacted on 0808 2000 247.

We will investigate all reports of Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse is an issue that Cheshire Police takes extremely seriously - and is not acceptable under any circumstances.

Cheshire Police will investigate all reports of domestic abuse and, in line with Government guidelines, will take positive action to bring offenders to justice and hold them accountable for their actions.

The force has a Public Protection Unit and part of its role is dedicated to investigating cases of domestic abuse.

Victims of domestic abuse are also offered advice and support through a number of different channels - including Cheshire Police's specially trained domestic abuse officers and dedicated support services via our partner agencies within the local community.

We want women and men to have the confidence and know-how to speak out against the abuse.